19. März
My Beginning
Hello hello and welcome to the blog…As mentioned on the title for this page, I do want to re-emphasize that my goal here is personal release and personal reconciliation with the position that I (and the world, really) has been put in because of this global pandemic. The blog will be organized by freeform paragraphing. I will likely include photos, lists, poems, audio files, and who knows what else. Also, my German always slips out at some point or other in my writing, so please expect etwas auf Deutsch.
I suppose I should start with my own beginning to this global story, which was about 2 weeks ago. It was business as usual, and I was still at Northwestern, living a normal student’s life. It was finals week for Bienen students—one week before finals week for Weinberg people—and I walked into my Monday evening German class, dressed in business casual and eager to discuss our final topic of the quarter, which was fashion.
Instead of jumping right into the topic, however, our instructors told us that our research trip to Hamburg was likely going to get cancelled. I was devastated. The only thing that I can say about the experience of having a dream trip like that one cancelled out of the blue is that the only people who can truly understand it are others who have had the same experience. In no way do I want to discard the amazing support that my family, friends, and colleagues have given me since, but I have to acknowledge that the only true sense of understanding and relief that I received in talking about it was from others who had had similar devastations.
My mind blurs the rest of the two week period up until now. I know that somehow I took 8 final exams and a placement audition, got my cobalt blue Milly cocktail dress altered, and packed up my place in Chicago, homeward bound, but aside from that the details are unclear.
Some other factors that seem to come up immediately for me as I recount the beginning are, in no particular order: that I gave up online ordering/shopping for lent (there are bonuses and pitfalls to this decision, namely, and again not in order: no packages were left behind in Chicago, though I have to shop in person). that I should have come back faster than I did (as it was dangerous to fly when I came back yesterday), and that I do not regret the way that I lived my life as a student living at NU. For this last point, I have been thinking in past days about how unexpected this craziness all was, and about how I often didn’t know that it would be my last time in x building or my last time seeing y person. I think that it would be easy to regret that kind of unexpected departure; however, I have learned from past losses and past experiences to indulge in every moment, especially fleeting ones. And, while I may not have known that my last time in Kresge was going to be for a last German class, I don’t regret not knowing because I know how much I relish walking into that building, every time I do it.
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Zum Essen
Today was my first day back in Arizona. It was a productively unproductive day. Most of it was spent either cooking or tutoring, as I had two ausgezeichnet recipes that I had been itching to make (and consume) all quarter long. My dad used to be a chef, so cooking has always been a big deal to me.
The first batch of lemon lavender scones I totally botched by over-kneading and letting the butter get warm. My mother reportedly liked them, though, so…go her? The second batch (pictured below) turned out perfect. I also made my own powdered sugar for the glaze, which was something new that worked out alright in the end.
Lunch was just a quick egg sandwich. I wasn’t doing much and was in-between two blocks of tutoring, so I just needed something quick and with a bit of protein to get through the bulk of the day.
Dinner was where I really brought out the big guns. Joshua Weissman has been one of my favorite Youtubers for a few months now, and I am obsessed with his clever (and delicious) recipes. I am so grateful to have the time to try some of them out, including this 12-minute steak recipe that turned out perfect on the first try. Thanks, Josh!
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Reading
As you may see in the next post that I post this evening, my book goal for my two-and-a-half-week Spring break is 10 books. I know that it is a hefty order, but it feels like the right number.
I have some very exciting content for the podcast planned, so I am not sure how much I am going to actually review or talk about my self-isolation reading list, but y’all will probably hear plenty about it here.
In any case, vielen dank for reading this hefty post and let me know in the comments: where did this all begin for you? What have you been doing with your time?
Cheers,
Mackenzie